Evil Shiva
by MikoNoNyte
Summary: My answer to January DSLNet Challenge: an evil Shiva. Just a little strange. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

I do not own Shiva, either the GF or the Goddess (!), nor do I own Irvine or any other of the characters herein.  This is a work of fiction in answer to a DSL Challenge: write a piece where Shiva is evil.  A/N: The poem came first, and then the prose followed after.  

SHIVA

I am not what you think of me.

I am the tender kiss of your maiden lips.  

I am the gentle caress of virgin flesh.

I am the silence between the stars.

I am the breath between lifes.

I am your beginning and your ending.

I am the ice blue maiden, the dancing diva.

I am death that comes on a whisper and leaves on a snap of icy oblivion.

I am the star that courses the heavens.

I am the silver moon in her white lace.

I am the cold breath of fear on your spine.

I am the cooling breath to your fevered brow.

I am the cold lover who knows no warmth.

I am the tender lover that waits for that one man to warm my icy depths.

I am the heartless demon at hell's rimed gates.

I am the silent step on dancing rainbows.

I am death.

I am life.

I am Shiva.

Dance with me.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Shiva, either the GF or the Goddess (!), nor do I own Irvine or any other of the characters herein.  This is a work of fiction in answer to a DSL Challenge: write a piece where Shiva is evil.  A/N: The poem came first, and then the prose followed after.  

            I awoke to gentle touches on my face, a softness caressing me that was more distraction than I wanted.  I could hear voices echoing in my ears but I didn't want to hear them.

            "Wake up, Irvine!  Wake up!"  

            A woman's voice.  I know that voice.  She reminds me of sunshine; a painful memory.

            "He's still in shock.  We've got to get him to someplace warm," another voice.  This one male; I should know this one but I cannot place it.  Why are they fussing over me?  I'm fine.  Just leave me alone, will ya?

            It was my first junction; never did use GF's in Galbadia Garden.  Headmaster thought they made us weak, so he wouldn't have 'em in the place.  But when I was sent to kill the Sorceress ... the SeeDs use GF's; they gave me one like it was a piece of candy.  Squall, yeah, that's his name ... Squall touched me on the arm and sent it in, like a crawling, itching something it flowed into me and I felt myself getting scared for the second time in my life; the first was when my folks died leaving me alone in the world at 5 years of age.  But now, now my heart was beating fast, fluttering like a kite in the wind and I could feel this _thing_ crawling inside me, up my arms, into my chest, through my body into my brain.  Every part of me came under its inspection, like I was meat for the table.  I shuddered and looked as Squall like he was mad or something.

            "You giving me this _thing_?" I asked him.

            "A GF; Shiva.  She's good, you'll like her," he answered me and I knew he believed it.  But I didn't.  I couldn't stand the cold bitch running through my veins.  I watched as she took up residence in my brain, rearranging things to suit herself and taking a cold eye at me.  Nope, she didn't like me either.

            I used Shiva throughout the Sorceress War, used her like the weapon she is, like the cold heartless killer I know her to be.  I used her and when it was all over I tried to give her back.  But she would have none of it.  I tol' them I gave her back; put her inside the crystal they keep all the non-resident GF's in here in Balamb.  I told them that, but it was a lie.  I still had her; living in my brain like a leech; sucking on my thoughts, my will, my life like I was suddenly _her_ GF.

            I tried to get her to let loose; release me back to a normal warm life, but she would laugh, her mental voice like ice chips tinkling on a hard surface.  She would whirl like a snow flurry in my mind and I would let her 'cause I knew she now used me like I used her.  Yeah, I guess I brought it on myself.

            I hated her the moment she came to me.  I like my women alive, warm, and vibrant.  Hell, even Edea had more vibrancy and life than Shiva.  I woulda been better off with little Carbuncle, but I got the Ice Queen instead.  I tried to understand her, like Squall said; she's a woman after all ... what don't I know about women?  She would have none of it; she would sulk and offer me icy stares and so I stopped trying.  She's a GF, a Guardian Force; she's not human, she's not even flesh and blood.  Why should I care if she likes me or not?

            She came to my summons.  She danced before me like a diva of ice and snow.  She froze and killed my enemies and left with a gentle snow frost kiss on my lips.  Did I tell Squall?  Hell, why bother; he was enamored of Quezacotl, and Zell had Ifrit.  What did they care I was turning into an ice-toy?  But we did work well together – we took on Edea in Dehling City, and the soldiers at the missile base.  It wasn't until we were in Time Compression that I even thought about what was happening.  My usual womanizing ways were slowing down!  I still flirted with Selphie, bouncing, vibrant, warm Selphie!  But I knew she didn't care for me the way that Shiva did.  Could Selphie protect me against all comers?  Kill with a snap of her ice-blue fingers?  Caress with those same frigid digits and send my heart pounding and my blood to freezing at the same time?  

            I think she likes me; Shiva.  She would dance her death dance at my request, but was that an extra look she gave me before going away?  Was that an extra flick of her long hair?  The ice crystals formed fancy patterns in the air as she sent them to kill my enemies.  Did she ever do that for Squall?  After the war I tried to return her; but really I couldn't.   We spent time after the party, recuperating and I would go for long walks along the mountain paths, up into the high passes above Trabia;  we were there to help rebuild; we were SeeDs and that's what we did now, rebuild and defend the world for the future.  But I would walk the ice fields, climb the passes and play in the snow.  It felt warm to the touch, the never-melting ice and snow was a gentle caress.  What did I need Selphie for anyway?  

            She would dance for me when I summoned her, her movements like feathered rain, snow fall on a silent mountain.  I would laugh and dance with her, taking her ice-blue hands in mine and stomp around the snow like a fool.  I don't have her grace, her light and delicate movements.  But she would laugh and twirl around me and her voice was like chimes in the algid air.  We danced together until the air was white, the ground a sharp crystal beneath my feet, the whole world a silent cataract of ice.  Sometime in the dancing I took off my clothes and we caressed, her ice-blue fingers touching an amorous dalliance over my slowly chilling body.  We exchanged words in whispered frost smoke, and we kissed, our lips touching gently as a scattering of snow dust.

            I hear them talking above me, trying to get me to wake up.  But I am awake.  I hear them, but I am content.  I have my snow maiden, and she awaits me on the other side.


End file.
